About this Episode
TERRIBLE POTENTIAL
I see it now
For years I only sensed it
Or saw the dissipating dust tails of its approach
But it filled me with terror
And there was no cover or protection
So I ran
As fast as my child stride could take me
Not even knowing what it was –
Only that it was coming
But that made the fear so much more
In my little mind
So I ran harder
Until I forgot why I was running –
Only knowing that I couldn’t stop
But I see it now
Its shape is fluid and undefined
And its terrible potential fills my mind
I want to keep running – retreating
But it won’t stop and
It’s closing the gap and
It’s more terrible than I ever thought
But its real – I see it now
And I know
There’s no escape, there never was.
But I want to keep running anyway
Until it overtakes me
I won’t see it coming; it will just happen and be done
But my insufficient legs refuse to carry me anymore
So I prostrate myself as an offering
I know you’re coming, I whisper,
And I offer myself willingly
This is not defeat, I reassure myself
Then lower my eyes
And brace for its fury
But my mind keeps moving – defiantly
It knows truths that my body forgot
And reminds me:
You were born with claws
And they’re with you still –
And I remember and feel them
They are deep, but I feel them and they are there
So, I raise my body from the dirt and
My eyes to the distance
It is closer now – the gap disappearing
But not my fear. My fear is growing
(broadcast loudly by my beating heart)
But I no longer want to run
Nor offer myself willingly
Instead, I watch it come and I wait – in fear, true
But I wait to receive it
And I steady myself.
I have claws and I feel them
And I will meet it face to face
I have terrible potential too
I feel it now.
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